So a lot has happened. I guess I should start from about 3 weeks ago. I went to Colorado with my brother. We had a great time out there. The two of us hooked up with a family out there that really taught us a lot. While out there, I found out that my son’s biological mother is petioning the court for custody. I was really hurt when everything unfolded. The boys (AJ, Austin, Logan, Trevor) were taken into custody of the state until the court hearing. I figured my family needed me, so I came back to Missouri.
I have been praying like non-stop about what to do. My husband phoned tonight and him and I talked in depth about the situation. He said that he feels Nicole is trying to have a fresh start with the kids. I know that I would love the kids to be back here with me, but right now, that might not be what they need. They need to be kept together and made sure they are safe. I really want what is best for them. I love those boys a lot and really wish that Nicole steps up and does right by them.
Since all this has happened. I have really pulled into myself and isolated from a lot of people. I haven’t been this hurt in a long time. I don’t know how to explain the feelings I was having. So many things were running through my head. But looking back at everything that has happened, I can see that things got really hard and I got into my head when I stopped talking to God about what he had in store. Sure, I would pray about the situation, but it was always along the lines of “Please return my boys back home where they belong.” I was getting NO WHERE. I had a serious heart to heart with my husband and it felt like a weight was lifted off of me. I will still continue praying for the situation, but my prayer will not be the same. It is my prayer that God’s will be done. If God wants the boys back with their biological mother, then there is a reason for it. I have enough faith in God that no matter what happens, there is a reason for it. Just like everything else that has happened in my life. I may not see it right now, but God does.
